Broken Barrier Writes:

Okay, so I'm not sure what to do, I mean I've been dealing with a lot lately and I'm not sure I can handle it anymore, because like I'm getting so stressed and sick of drama and I've been thinking about suicide; I have like NO friends and I have NOTHING to live for, I'm single, unhappy and I suffer from chronic depression; It's not working for me anymore. So can you give me some ways to make it through my days or give me some reasons to keep moving forward? I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!

I've tried to commit suicide before and I used to cut; I've been in the hospital for over dosing on some medication. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. And I hardly ever go to school I mean I'm not sure what to do anymore.  I am 14.

 

MR. GOOD ADVICE RESPONDS:

Your letter really concerns me.  I am sitting here wondering what in life can be so terrible at the age of fourteen that you are ready to give up on life.  First of all let me say this and get it out of the way, if you are seriously considering doing harm to yourself please pick up the phone and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and talk with someone immediately because suicide is not the answer to the problems we face in life.

Now, that being said let me say a few things to you.  I am much older than you, so I have learned a few things in this life that may be helpful to you.  First, you are going to feel depressed and shitty on many, many occasions in life.  Life is a journey filled with many ups and downs and no matter how hard you try to avoid the downs, they will come.  When those down times come you can't really fight them, you have to accept them as part of the experience and just ride them out.  I like to think that the bad times really serve as a reminder to enjoy the good times and not to take them for granted.  So don't feel like you are the only one who gets depressed or down, because you are not.  Everyone goes through their moments and sometimes they are not pretty.  Just try to remain focused on the fact that these bad times will pass soon enough.

I remember as a teenager worrying so much about things that seemed so important at the time.  In reality, they weren't as important as I thought.  It just took a few years to figure it out.  

I can understand the pressure of wanting to have lots of friends and being popular and all of that stuff.  In reality, friends are overrated.  If you are lucky in life you will have a handful of real friends that you can count on during a time of crisis.  So, if you feel that you don't have enough friends, you are probably feeling what many people are feeling.  Friends come and go, and at your age you are only beginning to get to the age where real friendships will develop.  Don't give up on yourself that easily.  My father always said the only real friends were the green dollar bills in your wallet, as I grow older I think I understand where he was coming from.  Stay focused on yourself and loving yourself.  When you understand that your life is a blessing and worth living, you will love yourself and all of the rest will fall in place.

I don't know much about chronic depression, so I can't imagine what you are going through.  However, if you are not getting help for it make sure that you reach out and get the medical help that you need.  You are only 14 and to say that you have nothing to live for just doesn't seem to make sense to me.  You are only just beginning to live.  Just imagine the things you are going to do in your life.  The places you will visit.  The people you will meet.  The things you will accomplish.  Let's not forget about the guys you will no doubt meet and all the times you will fall in and out of love.

I guess what I am trying to say is life has much more to offer than you can understand now.  Give it some time and I am sure that you will see that your problems are not at bad as they may seem right now.  You only need to look around you and see that many people in this world have far greater problems than you.  Next time you are outside notice the problems that others are dealing with on a daily basis and yet they haven't given up.  

You ask me to give you some ways to get through each day.  I don't know that there is a guidebook to happiness.  I just know that you must choose to be happy over sad, and you must choose life over death.  How you get to happy is not always easy, it requires work and sometimes help.  Most of all it requires a commitment to yourself to do those things that bring you joy and avoid those things that bring you pain.

So, when you are down it's okay, just roll with the punches and look forward to the happiness that is coming right around the corner.  You are not the only feeling the way you are today.  It's a part of life, so try and keep your head up because in the end, everything is going to be ok.