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SBrady Writes:

Okay so here's the situation: My on again off again girlfriend of the last three years and I got back together about a month ago. Its been going great since then and we've both never been happier. However, I wanted to wait until I saw my college girlfriend in person to break up with her. Since she lives on the other side of the country, I have no feelings for her anymore and she's a horrible relationship for me to be in. She even beats me. Well when I went to break up with her, she told me she might be pregnant. She says she thinks she is two months pregnant.  She has taken two tests (first one was positive, second negative), has "morning sickness" (no vomiting, just fatigue), hasn't had her period in two months and has really bad cramps all the time.

Well if she's pregnant then I have to marry her, even though I'll be miserable. If she really is pregnant I want to be part of the child's life, but I don't think I could stand being married to her especially since I love another girl. What do I do?! Oh, and to make matters better she and the maybe baby are in California, me and the girl I love are in Virginia.

MR. GOOD ADVICE:

The key sentence in your question is "[s]he even beats me."  Why would you consider marrying a woman who "beats" you? I understand you wish to have a place in this child's life and that you want to be a good father, but you can do that without sacrificing your own happiness and physical safety.

Being a good father means you take care of your responsibilities.  You can do that by taking care of your financial responsibilities and by being a part of his life.  Since you live far away it will take much more effort on your part to be in his life.  You will have to travel to see him and bring him to visit you as often as you can.  This will be difficult to do because this woman who beats you will probably try and poison your relationship.  So that means lots and lots of time in court protecting your visitation rights.  Nonetheless, its much better then a lifetime with this evil bitch.

No where is it written that a parent has to sacrifice their own life and happiness for their child.  In fact, I would argue that a happy parent makes for a much better parent.  You have a right to be in love and pursue those things that will make your life wonderful. Stay where you are and enjoy what you are experiencing.  You can be happy and be a great father as well.

By the way, this woman who beats you is not pregnant.  More then likely she knows you are with another woman and is trying to sabotage it.  Don't fall for it.