Susan Writes:

Last year my boyfriend took a job that required him to go on the road for almost a year.  I wasn't happy about it and I made my case that he should turn down the job.  He didn't listen and he left me home alone.  I tried to keep myself busy by being pen pals with a guy who is in jail in another state.  I found this guy's picture on a website for people in jail.  He was very handsome and I figured it wouldn't hurt to send a few letters.

Well, what started out as a few letters quickly turned into three or four letters a week. My friend in jail has been there for almost ten years and I have enjoyed communicating with him and hearing his stories.  Well recently our letters have become sexual in nature with both of us describing what we will do one day when we meet.  

I actually have developed some feelings for this guy, but I am terrified of actually meeting him in person.  Although we have discussed me coming to visit him at the jail.  He is scheduled to be released in about two years and I would love to help him get his life together when he is paroled.

Here is the catch.  My boyfriend is about to come home and I am not sure whether I should stop communicating with my friend.  I know that if I do it will really hurt him as he tells me I am the only person who sends him letters.  I am afraid if my  boyfriend finds the bag of letters he will not understand that I was just keeping myself busy while he was gone.

What should I do?  

MR. GOOD ADVICE RESPONDS:

If this guy has been in jail for ten years he is one messed up son of bitch!  More then likely he has committed a very serious crime of violence.  What possessed you to become pen pals with this loser?  His picture?  How in the world can you even be sure whatever picture was posted on that website is actually real.  I suggest you check out his mug shot on his actual prison website.  (Most states have websites that show all of people incarcerated in their prisons.)  If you have been sending him letters chances are you have his prisoner number and can do a search.  I'm willing to bet this dude is not who he says he is and probably is just trying to get you to send him money for his jail account.  You sent some money didn't you?  STOP DOING THAT!

After you come to the realization that this guy is gonna come looking to take advantage of you upon his release you should immediately move and change your name.  If that is not possible consider buying a gun.

As for your boyfriend, if he finds those letters he is gonna realize there is something terribly wrong with you and he will hit the road once again.  So, I suggest you dump all those letters in the trash right away.

We put people in prison because they can't be trusted around good decent people.  They are not capable of playing by the rules and prey on good people like yourself  I hope you will wake up from this fantasy where you believer you can help this guy straighten up his life.  He more then likely will not be able to do that and you will just be wasting your time and endangering you own life.