Cheryl Writes:

I really love my husband, he is a hard-working beautiful man who really tries hard to take good care of me.  The only real problem I have is that he is constantly pressuring me to lose weight.  I am a big girl for my size but I can't keep the weight off.  

I get frustrated when he tries to get me on new diets and question if he really loves me as much as I love him.  Our sex life has become almost non-existent and he doesn't even seem to enjoy hugging me or touching me in anyway.  

Lately he has taken to calling me names to try and make me feel bad when I eat things he doesn't want me to eat.  Sometimes he grunts and makes little pig noises!  It really hurts my feelings and I don't know how to respond most of the time.

Do you think that he doesn't love me anymore?  Do you think he will ever just accept me as I am?

MR. GOOD ADVICE RESPONDS:

He grunts and makes little pig noises?  Yikes!  Exactly how big have you gotten?  This seems like a very extreme reaction.  Something tells me that when you first were dating you must have been much smaller than you are now.  

Listen, you have to understand that there are limits to how much change people expect in a relationship.  If you were in relatively good shape when you first met and now you have ballooned up into something that warrants grunts and pig noises that is too much change!  No one expect their spouse to remain as beautiful as the day they first met, but they don't expect a complete transformation either.

If your husband is the good man that you say he is he deserves an extra effort on your part.  Put down the spoon and pick up a gym membership.  At the very least, curtail your eating habits in a way that enables him to see that you are trying to do something about this big problem.  

Weight loss is not easy.  However, I would saying finding a good husband is a far more difficult challenge.  You already have one, so you should try and keep him.  Don't be mistaken, if you aren't having sex its because he is turned off by your size. Having a husband that isn't attracted to you is recipe for divorce.  (Sorry about the use of the word recipe, maybe that was a poor choice on my part!) He will find sex with someone else if he can't get it from you, so do something to make a difference.

If you are not willing to take off the weight, you will lose this good man.  The choice is yours.