SANDY ASKS:

I'm a 28 year old married woman.  My husband does not seem to be interested in me. When we get in bed he shows absolutely no interest at all.  If I insist on sex he tries foreplay for a little while but often ends by putting me to sleep by tapping my head.  

I am starting to suspect he may be gay because he comes home late from work.  When I ask him where he has been he just says he has been out with his friends (men).  Can I find out if he is gay?  Is there a medical test to see if he is gay?

MR. GOOD ADVICE RESPONDS:

Why do you assume that he is gay because he is not having sex with you?  Is there any other evidence that he may be gay other then he tells you he is staying out late with his friends?  You should know that staying out late with the "friends" is an excuse that all men use when they are having affairs, gay or straight!  I am not certain there is anything to this gay thing.  I am certain however that he is not into you.  You need to focus on why he is not into you and not really worry about who he is interested in.  I have to assume that at some point you guys were into each other and having a regular sexual relationship, otherwise why would you bother to marry this guy?

What has changed in your relationship?  Have you let yourself go?  If not, then I have to assume the only thing that has changed is that your husband has gotten bored with you and met someone else who is now the object of his affections.  If that is the case you need to just come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over.  If he is having affairs this early into your marriage, he is just beginning to give you heartache.  Do yourself a favor and get out now while you are still young.

There are no medical tests to determine whether a person is gay.  The fact that you ask such a silly question scares me and make me believe this guy has tapped you on the head a few too many times.

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