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Scott Writes:

This girl dumped me about six months ago.  At the time I wasn't really happy about it because I was really into her.  It took a little while for me to get over it and I have not seen her since we broke up.  We have kept in touch by texting and email.  

She has been seeing some dude pretty much from the day she dumped me. He recently came across one of my emails to her and sent me a threatening email saying that if he finds me he is gonna kick my butt.  There was nothing in my email that was sexual in nature and I'm not sure why he got so pissed, but he did.

Here's the thing, she is the one who keeps texting me and sending the emails.  It's not like I have been trying to get her back.  I just respond whenever she writes me.  Lately the texts have increased and she has been asking to see me.  I really don't want any problems with her boyfriend but I do want to see her.  Our sex life was always good and I kinda wanna give this guy payback for that threatening email.

Last week we arranged to meet up.  I drove almost the whole way to her place, nearly an hour, when she sent a text saying that she couldn't meet up with me.  I wasted alot of gas and toll money only to get my feelings hurt, not to mention, I felt pretty stupid on the ride back home.

As soon as I got home, she was texting me again.  She said she was sorry that she had backed out at the last minute and started making plans with me all over again.  Should I just leave this alone or should I just enjoy the friendship with benefits that she is offering?

MR. GOOD ADVICE RESPONDS:

First, I would make really sure that those invitations you are receiving are coming from the girl, not her jealous boyfriend!  Imagine your surprise if you drove all the way to her house expecting some afterbooty, but got a nice big ass whupping instead! (Afterbooty is my definition of those sexual experiences where no love is left and what remains is a mixture of lust and separation anxiety)

You obviously haven't gotten over being rejected by this girl.  She dumped you and you won't rest until you prove to her that was a mistake.  So, I guess no matter what I say here you will take that ride to her house at some point.  Whether you should is another issue.  First of all, she has a man.  I know that for many people that doesn't really factor into the equation, but it should.  He could be a big man, a crazy man, a dangerous man or any combination of the three.  Pick up the local paper, people are killed for sleeping with other people's loved ones every single day.  In your case, you have already been identified as a potential problem by her man and he has taken the time to send you a very special message.  Most people don't get warnings from crazed, angry, jealous boyfriends.  They just get beaten!  

I also have come to believe that what comes around goes around.  You know, karma? I think its best to try and be good and avoid bringing badness into your life.  You have already been with this girl.  Sure the sex was great but she is not the only girl out there who is great in bed.  I think you have spent way too much energy on her at this point. She did dump you didn't she?  Your energy is better spent looking for the next great lay in your life.  There is no joy in being somebody's dirty little secret no matter how good the afterbooty may be!

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