Sandy Writes:

I have a very good friend who I think is gay but he has not came out. All the signs are there, he is in his late twenties and has never had a girlfriend. He dresses very nicely and has more female friends than male ones. He likes the theatre and hates sports!

I think he's scared of coming out because of his family. They are very conservative and I am sure they wouldn't be very happy with him being gay.

I feel very sad for him knowing that he is living a lie. I want to confront him and help him come out the closet but I don't know what to say or how to go about it. I have known him since elementary school and I want him to be happy. How should I help him break down the closet door?

MR. GOODADVICE RESPONDS:

You sound crazy! What makes you believe that any of this is your business? Obviously, if you have known this person since elementary school and he hasn't chosen to discuss his sexuality with you, your friendship is not as strong as you believe.

Coming out, assuming your friend is gay, is a very personal thing. Each individual must make that decision on his or her own. It is not your responsibility to drag someone out of the closet kicking and screaming!

I suggest you let your friend live his life anyway he sees fit and mind your business. Your friend will be just fine and if he chooses to discuss this with you it will be on his terms. Your approach will only cause him to face something he is obviously not ready, willing or able to come to terms with yet.